Friday, September 18, 2009

Teeny Tiny or Miniscule?

So yesterday I went to Hooters to pick up my uniform(s). Not gonna lie I was kind of excited. I mean it's free clothes first of all, and it's kinda like a costume. An what girl doesn't like to play dress up?

I walked in and of course I get evil eyes from the other girls, cuz I guess that's what the do to the new people... but one finally went and got the manager. There are three managers, all seem nice but this one is my favorite. He's an older man, but he is just so sweet. I've had a lot of jobs with sketchy guys who really made me uncomfortable, but surprisingly Hooters managers aren't like that. I'm sure that's a huge thing about it though, because if ANYTHING could be at all interpreted as sexual harassment, there would be lawsuits everywhere. It's probably a pretty risky place for a guy to work there. But they all seem like brother figures that are there to keep us safe and happy.

Anyway, he took me over to the cabinet of stuff. Here are the things I was handed:
1) a pink and black drawstring Hooters bag
2) a pair of orange dolphin shorts (xxs)
3) another pair of the orange shorts (xs)
4) white hooters tank (xxs)
5) another white hooters tank (xs)
6) black hooters shorts (xxs)
7) black hooters tank (xs)
8) thick ass panty hose
9) even thicker socks
10) a brown apron thing
11) a black one (obviously we can't clash our aprons with our outfits.)
12) a waiter book thing (I don't know I've never waited tables before)

Needless to say when you are holding a free bag open and someone is filling it with free clothes and accessories, it's very exciting. Like when you go to your friends house because they are getting rid of a lot of clothes and you're like 'ya jackpot!' and you take it all home. Only when you actually try it on you totally see why your friend was giving it all away in the first place, and now it's gonna be your crap to get rid of.

He showed me around the restaurant. Pretty much just as expected. Except the funniest thing is there is a vending machine in the back. Filled with cigarettes, socks, and panty hose. So when you need new ones, they're right there. It's pretty genius if you ask me.

I got home and in the privacy of my room tried on these clothes (if you can call them that.) I tried on the XXS shorts (I mean why not) and HELLO ASS!... so no go there. I looked at the XXS tank and couldn't even get it over my head, so that's also a no. I squeezed in the white tank and orange shirt that are both XS. Now in normal clothes I wear a 2-4 in pants and a medium in shirts... how this translates to XS in Hootersville I have no idea. But hey I haven't worn anything XS since 9th grade. And it fits the way it's supposed to, which is like underwear, so they fulfill their purpose. The black XS shirt however is smaller and does not fit. I'll have to ask for a S. I wonder if they even carry those.

So I had to go buy a nude colored bra because I don't like nudes or whites so therefore I don't own any. And if the job is about my boobs looking good there's only one place I'll buy a bra. So after VS took a good $50 from me, I had to go find the hideous white shoes. Apparently the requirements are 100% white, leather or imitation leather, with a 3/4" heel. GREAT. Payless sells them if you need them.

I was told to call when I get the shoes so I can start training. I'll be calling Monday. So until then...

Amused & Ashamed

1 comment:

  1. I went as a Hooters Girl for Halloween. As a guy, I felt kinda exposed. Don't know how you girls do it all the time. I shouldn't always do anything people dare me!